Top 10(+1) List inspired by Elizabeth Gilbert

For those of you who have been reading since the inception of this blog, you will remember that Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love inspired me to begin writing. Her idea that spirits, or geniuses, bring us our creative talents versus our humanself possessing them. This new way of thinking gave me the freedom to simply write without worrying about where my new idea would come from. I simply needed to be open and receptive to the next genius flying through.

 

I had the pleasure of hearing Liz speak at the Coolidge Corner Theater yesterday and have a personalized copy of her latest book, The Signature of All Things.  

Here are 10 more things I have learned from her.

10. Moss is pretty cool shit. It’s a lot like women 😉

9. Ask yourself “What was I sent here to do?” when in doubt on what to do with your Life. Don’t confuse your purpose with the need to do it well. Simply fulfilling your reason for being on this Earth can be enough.

8. Liz despises the phrase “Follow your passion” as much as I do. Because I haven’t always(okay, really I am still figuring it out!) know what I am passionate about, I am following my curiosity. Use what you are curious about to propel you.

7. Creativity and Fear are companions. Being creative come with an element of fear because letting the mind wander into areas unknown and new can be scary. Someone once told me that “If my dreams didn’t scare me, they weren’t big enough”.

6. Embrace Fear. Don’t let it in the driver’s seat of your adventure, though. Just because it is coming along for the ride anyway, doesn’t mean it gets a say on which radio station you listen to!

5. She has fabulous taste in shoes! Is she a fellow shoe lover or is she simply buying them for the shoeboxes? Hhhmmmmmm?

4. She makes up new words like Skybrary. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8tEOwNTloU)

3.Finish what you are working on because there are other things waiting their turn to be created.

2. Painting a room in your house is surprising similar to writing a book.

1.Perfection is not an option. Done is good enough. (Now move on!)

1. Be Real. BE Yourself. Put yourself out there and OWN IT ALL–Flaws, Strengths, Quirks, Interests. –all that makes up the Glorious You.

( Liz, if you are reading this as you said you would-THANK YOU for the gift of clarity and my growing ability to look Fear in the eye and spit at it !  Namaste. )

 

Have you listened to YOUR Genius today?

What is it telling you?

(to fully understand the reference to Genius, read What IS a genius? )

Growth

 

Protective barriers

Surrounding
Encapusualting
Wrapped up tight.
Mortar and brick strong. Strong enough to last

but at what cost
do they stay up?
Do I need them there anymore?
Do I want them there anymore?

Growth, from the inside out is

pushing

expanding

ready to burst

 

a brick falls off here and there
a crack widening and

Walls come crumbling down
those walls took years to build
Not coming down so easy
but yet, coming down none the less

Sunlight bursting! Shining through is
Warmth
friendship
joy
Acceptance

Encapusalting
Surrounding
This time…
In freedom

Self

Mid winter Blues

in a bubble
darkness.
muted to the sounds in the world around
no motivation. no connection. so hard
darkness.
hazy, lazy, slow. So slow
swimming through thickness
laborious, overwhelming
darkness.
detached, floating,…..
floating away to freedom? Floating away aimlessly?

darkness

Have you listened to YOUR Genius today?

What is it telling you?

(to fully understand the reference to Genius,What IS a genius? )

(Snort! Snort!)

BAAHAHAHHAHAHHA!!!

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!

(snort)

Bahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhah!!!

 

 

Sometimes I just need to step back and laugh at myself.

Done.  🙂

Have you listened to YOUR Genius today?

What is it telling you?

(to fully understand the reference to Genius,What IS a genius? ) 

Welcome to my heart, my friend.

I was in the freezer section of my local grocery store, and predicably, I ran into someone I knew. My kids constantly beg me to NOT find anyone I know so I won’t stop and chat. Now, for those of you who know me even a little smidge; you are laughing hysterically right about now. Me NOT running into someone I know is as ridiculous as asking me if I like chocolate.

So while I was catching up with my friend,M, she mentioned that a woman that I had a falling out with was sick. Not a sniffle cold sick but a serious illness that requires long term medical intervention. I immediately and geniunely asked M to let this ‘friend’ know I was thinking of her. M just looked at me with confused eyes as she was silently trying to remind me that this friend and I had a big blow up and haven’t talked in a few years. But what M doesn’t know is that once I have made space for you in my heart, that space has your name on it forever.

Fall out or not, it belongs to you and only you.

So this time some of you might be scratching your head in wonderment because I know a LOT of people and many many of them I call my friends. I am social. I am outgoing. I know and truly care about everyone’s happiness. But for those few that penetrate that inner circle of my heart, there is no going back. I have unfailingly the most loyal person.

Someone unexpectedly joined that small circle this week. VERY UNEXPECTEDLY. S/he somehow snuck through the initiation period and went straight to Full Member status. Because I was not expecting you, I initially was confused by your arrival.  For that I am sorry. But please know,  I couldn’t be happier that  you are here.

Welcome to my heart, my friend. I am glad you are here.

Have you listened to YOUR Genius today?

What is it telling you?

(to fully understand the reference to Genius,What IS a genius? ) 

Have you ever had one of those weeks that you look back and realize you maybe you screwed up?  You made a conscious decision  to make a seemingly irrational decision; questioned yourself  but hit ‘send’ anyway?I was brave this week.  Embarrassingly brave.  And maybe it isn’t going to work to my favor and I will have to be okay with it. Then again maybe it will.

What is pissing me off about myself is that I am catching myself  sabotaging my decision. Why? Because when I get embarrassed, I cover it up with verbally rambling, second guessing  and, well, generally embarrassing myself.  I am a very  logical person so when I make a move out of my comfort zone, I fumble.  I want to follow through on the risk so why can’t I let myself enjoy it?

Oh, the curse of a brain that NEVER shuts off because I have been over and over, and over and over the decision.  And I am driving myself crazy because, really, I can’t go back and change anything anyway?   And to be honest with myself, I really DONT WANT to change my decision anyway.  Even though by second guessing myself, I drive myself and EVERYONE Around Me CRAZY too!  I pushed myself out of my comfort zone by taking 20 second of Insane Bravery AND I AM NOT SORRY but telling that to my logical brain  it isn’t working!

I need to stop over thinking my decision, allow myself to be happy with it and just relax.  Yes, JUST RELAX. For an analytic mind like mine, it isn’t so easy.  But sometimes logical has nothing to do with what the heart wants.

I am such a  rule follower.  Throughout my adult Life I have done what I should, what was smart, what was expected.  I didn’t grow up with the luxury of parents who had fun.  We were serious.  We were focused.  Most of my life has been spent on Survival mode.  So to make a decision that can’t be logically justified goes against what I have taught.  I make SAFE choices.

Safe doesn’t make me question whether I will make a complete fool out of myself.   Safe doesn’t make me worry I will be a complete failure. But dammit it, safe is not necessarily better. Safer is not challenging.  Safer is not also really going to get me far.  Safer isn’t as fun.

Playing it UNsafe helps me trust friends and acquaintances alike and the amazing greatness they see in me.   Playing it UNsafe helps me trust myself more. UNsafe take 20 seconds to push me outside my comfort zone and opens possibilities.

What would you do with  YOUR  20 seconds of embarrassing bravery?  What if the count down to your insane courage starts now?  1, 2, 3, 4, …..17, 18, 19………..

Have you listened to YOUR Genius today?

What is it telling you?

(to fully understand the reference to Genius,What IS a genius? ) 

Quick! Give me a bottle!

Have you ever had a moment that you simply wanted to bottle up to so you can relive the moment forever? The feeling within you is so positively powerful that you want the feeling to stay with you but your realistic self knows it won’t so you need to find a way to perserve it? Your heart is so filled with joy that when it is full and spilling over the sides, you want to catch it all up to share with everyone around you.

And when you uncap this special bottle, just a sniff will bring you back to the moment. And a sip will bring you power, power  to do more than hope.  Power to drive you to new heights, push boundries you have never had the courage to push before.  Because the power has shielded you from self- doubt.  It takes the fear out of mistakes because you now see that mistakes are also served with knowledge. The heady buzz powershifts past caring about mistakes and gives you clarity on what lessons the mistakes are giving you.

The bottle label even has “Special Reserve” written  in bold print so on a ‘bad’ day when your heart is gloomy and the “I can’t do this” demon wants to come play in your heart, you have the good stuff ready to uncork.

Yea, I had a moment like that today.  And I sure as hell bottled as much as I could after I drank my fill.    The moment was given from very unexpected friend and I will cherish it forever.

I labelled the bottle: Confidence:  Grown in the vineyard of Self Worth

Have you listened to YOUR Genius today?

What is it telling you?

(to fully understand the reference to Genius,What IS a genius? ) 

What about you? Are you Happy?

Someone recently asked me about my MY happiness.  It was part of a general discussion about my Life and all the ‘hats’ or ‘roles’ most women in our society wear on a daily basis.  For me that includes:  wife, mom, teacher, volunteer, coach.  While I proudly have these titles, I don’t often just think of my identity  without any of these other titles influencing my perception of myself.  The question caught me by surprise because this person doesn’t know me well but immediately focused in on the one thing I don’t often think about: ME.

Truthfully, the question kind of irritated me. More truthfully, it irritated me because I didn’t really know how to answer it.  So a few weeks later, this is what I have come up with.

I think there are 3 major roadblocks that get in the way of being happy.

1:  You need to think you deserve it.  I came to realize that if I don’t make myself a priority, no one else in my Life will think it is important either. This a a very key component.  You need to FEEL WORTH IT!  You deserve to be happy!  No one is happy every moment of every day–that is unrealistic.  But if you stopped for a moment and critiqued youself, make sure you are spending your time on things that are meaningful to you.

2: You need to know yourself well enough that you know what makes you happy.  To me, this is a tricky one. As women, we often put others before ourselves.  Having kids sucks a lot out of you .  I swear as we give birth, some of ‘who we are’ slids right out of us with the afterbirth.  Make sure you remember what makes you smile and gives your heart a little extra thump! Make a bucket list if you need to.

3: The People in your Life need to be supportive and think you deserve to be happy too.  If hubby has erratic workhours or doesn’t ‘do well’ with babies that age that makes it hard to find time to simply complete a thought for youself.   Or when your teenager needs a ride at XX hour and you are the only mom who is ‘available’ is hard to find time for you.   LEARN what is your problem and what is someone else’s that they want you to solve.  While we have responsibilities in Life that we can’t shirk, it is also okay once in a while to have someone Else pick up the slack.

I truly believe that Happiness comes from within.  I don’t want to BE someone’s happiness,  as just one person can’t be responsible for MY happiness.  So I surround myself with people, things, and activities that make me happy. Most of the time, that includes being a wife, mom, teacher.  But it now includes Me. I enjoy being by myself, doing things that simply make ME happy. While there are always factors that I can’t control, shifting the focus onto what DOES make me happy or what I CAN  change has helped.

Your mental outlook and perception on your Life is essential to being happy.     If I need to be in charge of the kids and can’t get out, then happiness can include a movie in bed by myself.  If work is not the ideal for you, then start looking for a new one while taking a minute to enjoy the sky and the clouds above before you enter the work building and again on the way out. Close your eyes, Breathe deep and simply feel the world around you.

If you have a hard time putting yourself first, give yourself permission to do so every once in a while.  AND NOT FEEL GUILTY!   Personally this was a hard one.  I made a deal with myself that I would do something that felt selfish once a  month.  I make a date with myself to get hell out of Dodge & to do something that I have always wanted to do. I don’t have to have a reason for wanting to do it, nor any justification needed.  Simply something that intrigues me.

So I ask you the same question this person asked me “What about your Happiness?”  Do you have roadblocks standing in the way of your Happiness? What IS making you happy?  Make sure you know so you can hold on to it!

Have you listened to YOUR Genius today?

What is it telling you?

(to fully understand the reference to Genius,What IS a genius? ) 

The Christmas Card under my Car Seat

I have a Christmas card buried under my front seat  that I am scared to open.  If I can’t see it, did I really receive it?

In yesterday’s mail arrived a Christmas card from a family my 1^st grade twin girls used to go to school.  Last year, the family moved away but the mom and I have kept in touch electronically so I wasn’t even aware of their mailing address.  Until yesterday, I knew they moved to CT but not exactly where.   The return address on the card was Sandy Hook, CT.  I freaked.  Seriously.  The kids were in the car with me and I realize how ridiculous the physical action of burying card seems. It doesn’t alter the possibility for this family, but I couldn’t mentally handle the thought of the tragedy affecting anyone I knew personally.  So I stuffed the card under the seat and left it there last night.

A good night’s sleep always put everything in perspective for me so this morning I decided I was being ridiculous. There probably is no connection between Sandy Hook, CT and Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown.  Coincidental names –that’s it.  So I google it.  Sandy Hook, CT is a village of Newtown CT.  CRAP.  Crap, crap, crap.

http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=sandy+hook+ct&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

The card is still under my car seat.   The reality is that little Amy was in the middle of the shooting.  This is most likely her school.  What if…?  What if I have a copy of the last family photo?  The last smile ever shared by this spunky friend?  If I don’t open it, does it mean the family is still intact? Frozen in time, so to speak?  Our friend is this beautiful family’s only child.  I haven’t read and didn’t plan to ever read the victims’ names.  I am praying for them regardless of which birth name they were assigned to so their names held no difference for me.  But now do I have to?  It seems that whether this family was spared from the worse,  they have been effected in some way.

This card would have been mailed last Thursday or Friday to have arrived at my house on Monday.  Is this the last family photo of this family? I have an album of every Christmas photo anyone has ever sent me.  I could never bear to see  smiling cherubs peering up from the bottom of my trashcan so they became a pictorial chronology instead. Will next year’s card have Amy smiling out at me again?  What other families have met with large or small hardship this year?

So my tribute to this tragedy is to open this card.   Hoping that as I do, I will take some pain away and lessen the heartache for this family.   As well, I am opening it as a reminder that this is my opportunity to figure out how to preserve all smiling faces on all the Christmas cards I receive this year.

You have the power to help reassure  all the smiling faces in your ‘world’  too. Burying the problem, physically or mentally doesn’t change anything. Facing the issues affecting our society and taking action will.  Right now, make the commitment to make one improvement-large or small.  Collectively, we have so much power to bring positive change to our amazing world!  What need do you see?  What is your call to action?

Have you listened to YOUR Genius today?

What is it telling you?

(to fully understand the reference to Genius, please read the October 2010 blog post-What is a Genius?) 

Can you hear me keeping my mouth shut?

Years ago I started using a new discipline tactic with my kids.  I ask them to do something, I will explain it to make sure they understand the rationale behind the request and then I shut my mouth.  Many times this request is not something one of them wants to do and I would find myself caught in a justifying my request.  Grrrrrr.  (I’d be as upset with myself as I was with them as I found myself back in the justifying my request).  So my new strategy was to just keep my mouth shut.  Anytime one of them decides to argue with me meets up with silence.  One can’t argue with nothing, right?  Right!! I wasn’t unsuspectingly giving them verbal ammunition to use against me.  I said it, explained it and expected it to do done.  And it was!

Fast forward to present day and I found myself keeping quiet once again.  This time it is with the passive aggressive people in my Life.  Unfortunately, it is not possible to remove this person so I have had to learn to ‘deal’ and not get rieled up. For those of you who know me, I REALLY don’t like ‘dead air’ while having a conversation.  But I DESPISE getting pulled into the negativity more than my dislike for awkward moments.  This person revels in drama and exaggeration so not giving any ammo was a very effective strategy. Just like the kids, the passive aggressor loses his/her power over you when you stop playing the game.  Just. Like. That.  And while I originally felt rude I now feel liberated and powerful that I am no longer being used or manipulated.  Can you hear that….no?  That’s me keeping my mouth shut!

 

Have you listened to YOUR Genius today?

What is it telling you?

(to fully understand the reference to Genius, please read the October 2010 blog post-What is a Genius?)